Hello friends, family, cake-makers, bakers, baked good eaters, and anyone who gives a hoot to read this!
I am a cake decorator by trade. You've heard all about the dirty little secrets of restaurant kitchens, crazy chefs, but what do u know about bakeries? Just because they are full a sugary sweet treats dosent mean they are always sweet to work in. It is a love/hate kind of work to be in. Make no mistake about it I am happy to have found a great way to make money doing something creative and artistic. But not everyday is a cakewalk. Some days you wish nothing more to shove a a dozen regular sized cupcakes down a skinny cows throat, or throw cake pan at the back of your bosses head. Others you are overjoyed to see a kid thrilled with the cake you have created for their birthday. I also want to let you know that names of bakeries, coworkers, bosses and the like have been omitted or changed to protect privacy and to avoid getting in any hotwater. It's a place to express and comiserate in the best way u know how...by bitching, sarcasm, and tongue in cheek humor.
Now, it is time for the commandments...be aware these may alter, be added to, and will consider suggestions for improvement.
1. Thou shalt not ask "is it fresh" As if you know what you are talking about...you probably couldn't tell the difference between a day old and a week old for many products. Plus this is a sure fire way to piss off your favorite bakery.
2. Honor thy decorator and baker. They are making your food. They also decide whether or not you deserve a last minute order you "need" for a birthday you seem to have forgotten was coming up.
3. Thou shalt not covet thy competitors goods. Basically stay true to the place you most like or we may not be around forever.
4. Thou shalt not insult your decorator. If you treat your decorator like crap why would we care to make you a nice cake?
5. Thou shalt not obsess over cupcakes. They are just small pieces of over_frosted cake. Sure they can be done well and turned into little works of art( just wait till u see some.of the ones I've come up with.) But anyone can and is making them these days.
6. Thou shalt not jump on the red velvet bandwagon. It's died to he that red and what you probably really like about them are the colour and the cream cheese frosting.
7. Thou shalt give clear, detailed descriptions of what decor you want on your cake, we are talented but not mind-readers.
Okay, so I haven't decided on the official last three commandments...I'm taking suggestions.
Thou shall not ask how many calories something has in it! Like a lot. Just eat it and deal. And then go for a run or something.
ReplyDeleteAlso - thou shall not ask if something can be made lower calorie. Butter makes it better. BUTTER MAKES IT BETTER.
BUTTER is BETTER! This is an always. I hate cupcakes, and cupcake-cakes, for that matter, thought I do create some nifty clean ones.
ReplyDeleteThou shalt not forget to pick up your son's or daughter's cake!! Even if it taste just as good the second, third or fourth day, it is rude to put in an order that you're just going to forget about!